


here comes the sun

by MegTheMighty



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Post-Canon, Post-Promised Day, discussions about equivalent exchange, roy getting his vision back, shameless happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:54:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26846983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegTheMighty/pseuds/MegTheMighty
Summary: Roy was looking up at her reverently, as if he had been stuck in darkness his whole life and she was the sun. As if she was the Truth he was supposed to see at the Gate. Maybe she was. After all, it was Riza who appeared to him in the blinding whiteness before he lost his vision.Before getting his vision restored by the Philosopher's Stone, Colonel Mustang reflects on what happened to him at the Gate. There was a chance God wasn't so cruel, and something else was given to him in exchange for his eyes.
Relationships: Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Comments: 14
Kudos: 81





	here comes the sun

**Author's Note:**

> This random idea popped into by head and bugged me until I wrote it down. We didn't get to see Mustang go through the portal in the same way Ed did (during his first human transmutation) so I was curious about what he might have seen. I also decided Truth may have taken into account the fact that he didn't perform it willingly, and may have offered something extra for his toll.
> 
> Honestly, I have no idea if this makes sense but I'm just rolling with it. Enjoy!

“Sir?”

Roy startled slightly, not knowing she was awake. The hourly chimes from the clock at his bedside told him it was still early enough that they should both be resting. He supposed he couldn’t blame her at all, since he was the one sitting upright in his hospital bed.

“Is everything alright, Hawkeye?”

“Yes, I just noticed you were awake already.”

“No need to worry, I was just thinking. But I can lay down if that will make you feel better.”

His mind had been racing nonstop since he had first woken up after the Promised Day. During the days, Breda or Fuery would come in and they would discuss his plans for Ishval and the government. Mustang would do anything to keep himself busy. But when the visitors were gone he had nothing to do but stare into the dark nothingness and listen for his lieutenant’s breathing.

“It would make me feel better if you finally got some rest,” she said. His lips quirked up at her tone. He knew she said it out of care for him, but it came out as an order. Hawkeye really should have been the commanding officer.

“I’ve been sleeping just fine, even the doctors think so,” he retorted.

“That’s not the kind of rest I meant.” Her words hung in the air for a few long moments. 

“I’ve been resting long enough. And after today I’ll be able to get right back to work, provided Dr. Marcoh knows what he’s doing.”

He heard Hawkeye’s sigh from across the room. Roy just wished he could see her face, even if it meant she always looked exasperated at him. Of all the things their team had been able to work out if he couldn’t regain his sight, Mustang still didn’t know how he would cope with never seeing any human face again, especially hers. He was trying not to dwell on that though, since his blindness might be cured in just a few short hours.

“How would you feel if I was the one trying to get up and go right back to work?” she questioned.

“That’s different,” he insisted. He could practically feel her eyebrow raised at him. “You were seriously injured. Besides, it’s been months since I knew for sure that you were safe. We can afford to savor that feeling a bit.”

“You only say that because you haven’t seen my progress.”

“Well the last time I did see you, you were white as a sheet and covered in blood. Excuse me for being concerned.” It came out harsher than he intended, but after all their years together, they both knew he wasn’t really snapping at her. He had been terrified out of his mind on the Promised Day.

“All I’m saying is you’ve been through a lot too,” she said softly. “You don’t have to talk about it, but I’m right here to listen if you want.”

Roy stayed silent. He had been avoiding the topic entirely, even with the Elric brothers, who would understand more than anyone else. His unwilling entrance through the portal had been bad enough, but the information pouring into his mind had almost driven him mad. It was all blurred together now, and whatever he had seen wasn’t much use. Being able to transmute without an array was convenient, but it didn’t seem like an entirely fair trade for his sight.

She already knew that, though. He didn’t need to say it for her to understand. There was something else keeping Roy from telling Riza about his experience. He could remember flashes, just images, of what the Truth had shown him. He wasn’t sure if it would be right to tell her what he thought he saw. Even so, he couldn’t deny her when she was offering to be his confidante once again. 

“I told you how I thought it was ironic that it took my sight because I’ve always had a vision for the future, didn’t I?”

“It seems God has a twisted sense of humor, yes. I still don’t think you deserved to pay such a toll when you didn’t even perform the transmutation yourself.”

“I tend to agree, but…I think I may have received something else for what I paid. I think the Truth showed me something more, maybe as a consolation.”

“What was it?”

“I’m going to sound crazy,” he admitted.

“You know you can tell me anyway,” she reminded him.

“It was like I saw my life and all my memories laid out in front of me. There were glimpses of my childhood that I could barely recall before, along with all the most important moments of my life.”

“Do you know if Ed or Al experienced something similar?” she asked, always the practical one.

“I haven’t spoken to them about it, but perhaps. They would have barely had enough memories to recall back then, though, since they were so young. Maybe that’s why it felt so intense for me.”

“It still doesn’t seem like a fair trade. What’s the point in showing you images you’ve already seen in exchange for taking your sight? So much for equivalent exchange,” Hawkeye added dryly.

“I guess there’s very little that’s fair when it comes to human transmutation,” he said solemnly. 

Mustang couldn’t bring himself to tell her the part he had left out. He could barely tell if it was real anyway, as much as he wanted it to be. If it was, God really did have a twisted sense of humor: showing him glimpses into his own future, only to deny him the chance at really seeing it.

* * *

It started with his parents. They looked exactly like in the crumpled picture Madame Christmas had given him. It must have been his earliest memory, hidden in the back of his mind. His mother was a beautiful Xingese woman, and his father was a sturdy Amestrian man. They quickly disappeared and were replaced with Chris, watching over him as he studied and practiced whatever new skill he had decided to pick up.

The images of Roy’s childhood went by quickly, like film reels zipping past him. He didn’t have time to collect his thoughts and demand to know what was happening before he saw an old manor laid out, with Berthold and Riza inside. Every bit of alchemy he had studied came flooding back all at once. His head felt as though it couldn’t handle any more information.

“What the hell is happening?” he cried. There was no one there to answer, just the blank white field around him.

Suddenly he saw Hughes and Heathcliff, and felt the strain that academy training had put on his body. Then he was standing in front of the grave of his master, then Riza’s tattooed back was displayed before him. Roy wanted to close his eyes as the images from Ishval that were already seared into his mind played out, but he couldn’t look away. Every horrible act he committed and witnessed was burned into his mind even more than before.

Then the next part of his life started, with Grumman and his team: Havoc and Breda, then Falman and Fuery. Hawkeye was in practically every image he could catch, the one constant in his life as it played out before him. The Elric brothers appeared too, with their small, broken voices echoing in his ears. All the research they had found and all the knowledge they had been seeking poured into his mind as well, unwanted. Roy didn’t want to know about the alchemy of Philosopher’s Stones or human transmutations.

“Make it stop!” he begged. “I don’t want anymore!”

He knew what was coming next. Two dead bodies covered in tarps. Scar. The empty phone booth and the grave that held his best friend. All the Homunculi. The past year’s worth of memories went by quickly, but that didn’t make them any better. It was as though every detail the universe could muster was being forced before his eyes, and Roy thought he was going to black out.

Eventually, everything did go black. His head pounded as some light returned, but it wasn’t as clear as before. Time slowed down as well, allowing him to take a deep breath. The image he could make out was unfocused and fuzzy, as if it was far in the distance. Still, he knew it was Riza. She had something on her neck, but she was smiling brightly down at him. The image shifted so that her smiling face was still there, but he was looking down as they stood next to each other, her clothes seeming to blend into the whiteness around him. 

Roy tried to focus on the details, but his eyes simply wouldn’t let him. All the lines around her body were blurred, but he could almost make out another white outline, like a veil around her head. The colors started to fade in the image as it shifted one last time. The familiar form of Riza’s back was outlined in front of him, but it was all white the same way the creature at the Gate had been. She started to turn around, and he could see something held closely against her chest. The bundle shifted into one of her arms as she reached toward him with the other. 

“Riza!” He knew it was her. He knew what she was holding. He had to get to them. Roy stretched his hand out until he could nearly reach them, but then it all went black again.

* * *

“You don’t remember much from the Gate, do you?” Dr. Marcoh questioned.

“I remember some of it,” Mustang replied. “But I can’t really pinpoint anything I saw, it all blends together. I guess I learned about the Philosopher’s Stone, but I couldn’t tell you how.”

“Well that’s no matter, I was only curious. I’m confident this will work,” he said. “We should probably clear the room, just for some privacy.”

Roy could hear footsteps heading toward the door as Fuery and Breda left. There was the rustling of sheets as well, the sound he quickly learned was from Hawkeye sitting up.

“Sir, should I go as w-”

“No,” he said quickly. “I would rather you stay, please.”

“Alright.”

He wished he could see what kind of look Hawkeye and Marcoh were sharing in that moment. He wondered if she was flustered from a knowing look Marcoh might send her way, but he realized it was more likely that she would simply maintain a neutral expression, and Marcoh wouldn’t bother interpreting his desire for her to stay.

“You’ll need to lie back again, and I’ll prepare the transmutation circle,” he instructed.

The sound of chalk scraping against the floor filled the room. Roy tried to steady his breathing, but the anticipation was getting to him. The procedure’s results were promising for Havoc, who regained feeling in his legs and was going to start physical therapy. But what if there just wasn’t enough of the stone left for him? He thought he could accept being blind, but the hope of actually getting to witness his future rooted itself in his heart; Roy didn’t know what would happen if it was dashed.

“You’ll want to stand back a bit, Lieutenant,” Marcoh instructed. “Are you ready, Colonel?”

“Yes, I guess I am.”

There wasn’t much warning after that. The familiar crackling of an activated transmutation circle sounded in his ears, but Roy didn’t know what was going on other than that. Suddenly, a blinding pain erupted in his head, reminding him too much of the feeling at the Gate. He gasped and gritted his teeth together painfully.

There were other sounds from around the room, but he couldn’t focus on any of them.

“Sir!”

“Stand back, Lieutenant!”

“I’m alright,” he gasped out. “Is it over?”

“Yes, but keep your eyes closed at first,” Marcoh replied. “They’ll be very sensitive for a while.”

“That’s easier said than done.” The temptation to open his eyes and test whether he could actually see was overwhelming. Still, he could be patient just a little longer.

“I’m going to grab some supplies I left outside, but just stay still for a bit, Colonel,” Marcoh advised. 

As soon as the door closed, Roy started to sit up in bed. “Before you say anything, I feel fine,” he told Hawkeye.

“You should still listen to your doctor’s orders,” she insisted. He could feel her come to the edge of his bed, hovering over him.

“Come here,” he said softly. He reached out and found her hand, pulling her closer until she sat on the bed next to him. Hawkeye hadn’t been officially discharged yet, so he didn’t grip her too firmly or move too quickly.

“What is it?” she asked. Roy could tell she was concerned, but he just wanted her to be there.

“Are you in front of me now?” He wanted to make sure it all happened the way he wanted it to.

“Yes, I’m right here, but what are you-”

She stopped when he held her hands tighter and let out a deep breath. Roy cracked his eyes open slowly, trying not to let the bright light force him to close them again. Riza was there right next to him, looking down in concern. It wasn’t until his eyes were fully open and he let out a sigh that she cracked a smile.

“It’s you,” he whispered in relief. “I can see you.”

“It worked!” she exclaimed. Riza’s smile was uncommonly bright, and everything seemed to be enhanced, as if he was seeing color for the first time and it was overwhelming. Her neck was wrapped with bandages, but he could clearly confirm that she was alive and well, finally.

“I thought I might never see you again,” he continued. “Is it selfish that was all I could think about at night?”

She laughed lightly. “I think I can forgive you for that, sir.”

He chuckled along with her, but the image suddenly shot straight to his heart. 

_I’ve seen this before,_ he realized. _This is what I saw…_

“What’s wrong?” she asked insistently. “I can call Dr. Marcoh back in.”

“No, no,” he replied, but he couldn’t quite steady his voice yet. “I’m fine, I just…”

Roy was looking up at her reverently, as if he had been stuck in darkness his whole life and she was the sun. As if she was the Truth he was supposed to see at the Gate. Maybe she was. After all, it was Riza who appeared to him in the blinding whiteness before he lost his vision.

“It was real,” he finally said. “I wasn’t sure before, but it was actually real.”

“What’s real?”

“Everything I saw in the portal.”

“You mean your memories?”

“Not just that.” Roy took her hands again. “I saw _this._ ”

“But…how would that even…” She was looking at him as if he was hallucinating, though he supposed that seemed like a more reasonable explanation than him seeing the future.

“Riza,” he started, trying not to be affected by the way her eyes widened at the use of her name. “The portal is supposed to give you some sort of knowledge. At the very end, I wasn’t sure if what I was seeing was real, but I saw this exact moment.”

“You’re saying…you saw the future?” she tried to confirm.

“Not much of it,” he admitted. “But I just saw you.”

Riza seemed to understand his implication, and leaned back as she tried to process everything he was saying. 

“I didn’t want to say anything before because I thought I must have been making it up in my mind,” he explained. “But even now, I’m not sure it’s right to say what I saw because nothing may be set in stone. I wouldn’t want to force you into thinking something is destined to happen if it could still be changed if you want it to be. There are whole complex theories about time and how knowing the future would mean you force it to happen and-”

“Roy,” she interrupted softly. “Were we happy? Is there a chance that we do everything we plan to, and still have some room to be content?”

“I think we were.”

Riza leaned forward, her hands still in his, and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead, then his lips. 

“Then I think you should tell me exactly what you saw, and we can get started on the future.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope if you made it this far you enjoyed this little one shot! I feel like seeing a small glimpse of the future isn't all that unrealistic if you're also supposedly getting tons of information dumped into your head at the gate anyway, but I hope this was coherent for everyone lol
> 
> Please feel free to let me know what you think! I love reading comments and hearing any concrit :)


End file.
